Bakit may
wrist band si ERAP?
Para malaman nya kung ano ang left sa right.
Pano mo malalaman
kapag ginamit ni ERAP ang computer?
May liquid paper sa monitor.
Bakit nakatitig
si ERAP sa juice bottle?
Kasi nakasulat concentrate.
Bakit nag-iismile
si ERAP pag kumikidlat?
Akala niya may nagpi-picture taking.
Little ERAP
opened a box of animal crackers and spread it all over the table.
MOM: What are you doing?
ERAP: It says on the box "Do not eat if SEAL is broken." Hinahanap
ko yung SEAL!
ERAP to Gloria: Galing ng bagong cellphone ko! GSM!
GLORIA: Bakit naman?
ERAP: Kasi adaptable, pwede sa lahat!
GLORIA: Ha?
ERAP: Oo, GSM = Globe, Smart, Mobiline!
Ambassador to ERAP: I haven’t met your wife? Where is she?
Napadaan si Loi.
ERAP: Oh my wife? She just passed away.
Erap was about to return a bottle of coke when he suddenly went back home.
WIFE: Why did you return?
ERAP: I forgot my hat. It says return with cap.
Returning from Australia...
ERAP: Ganda ng animals don lalo na yung dangaroos!
BODYGUARD: Sir, baka kangaroos?
ERAP: Hinde! Sabi ng sign "Please don’t touch, these animals are dangerous!"
ERAP at a ballet performance. He sees the dancers tiptoeing and twirling.
ERAP: Tsk! Tsk! Silly choreographers! Why didn’t they just find taller ballerinas?
At a restaurant Erap heard the couple next table are ordering: "Bring us Swiss steak and French fries."
ERAP: I’ll have the same, give me the sweepstakes and first prize.
BATA: Mr.
President, bakit ganyan ka maglakad?
ERAP: Kasi sabi ng Doc, Cholesterol is bad for the heart. Kaya iniiwasan
ko yung itlog.
ERAP in New York bumps into a blackman.
BLACKMAN: Hey watch it! You MUDAFUCKA!!!
ERAP: Gago to a, MADAFAKA rin sana!!!
ERAP paging Jinggoy: "Jinggoy, you left your beeper in the house."
ERAP to operator: Pwede bang malaman kung ano ang time difference ng Philippines sa U.S.?
OPERATOR: Just a minute, Sir...
ERAP: Oh i see... thanks!
Driver to ERAP: Boss, pakitingin naman yung signal lights kung gawa.
ERAP (nilabas ang ulo at tinignan): Oops gawa, oops sira, oops gawa...
FVR: Sorry I’m late. Na-stuck kasi ako sa elevator for 2 hrs.
ERAP: OK lang yon, ako nga na-stuck ako sa escalator for 3 hrs eh!
Erap at the
Fish Port...
PRESS: Sir, kamusta ang peace and order dito?
ERAP: Ang fish marami, ang order konti dahil sa lumubog na barko.
Sa isang lamay...
ERAP: Tayo na Jinggoy, mauna na tayo.
JINGGOY: Bakit po?
ERAP: Hindi mo ba nakikita yung sign, "REMAINS WILL BE CREMATED."
ERAP: Wow, bango mo ngayon ah. Anong pabango mo?
Loi: Basta, secret!!
ERAP: Secret? diba pangpahid yon sa kilikili?
ERAP: Ano
ang English ng "hindi ko alam?"
Ramos: I don’t know!
ERAP: Ha ha ha!!!
Ramos: Bakit ka tumawa?
ERAP: Kasi hindi mo rin alam ang sagot!
CHINA: We’ll send a man to space by year 2000.
RUSSIA: We’ll send a man to the moon.
USA: We’ll send a man to Mars.
ERAP: We’ll send a man to the sun.
SCIENTIST: Impossible! It’s very HOT!
ERAP: Stupid! We’ll send him at night!
Erap orders pizza.
WAITER: Sir do you want me to cut your pizza into 4 or 8?
ERAP: 4 na lang baka hindi ko maubos pag-8!
EXOTIC COLORS:
Plematic Green,
Ebakish Brown,
Spermatic White,
Bulbonic Black,
Reglatic Red,
Uhogish Yellow,
Utongic Pink,
Clitoric Fuschia,
Bayagish Lavander
Q: Anong
celfone ng mga gumagamit ng viagra?
A: Nokaya
Q: Eh ng
mga malibog?
A: Ericsyon
Q: Ng mga
naninilip?
A: Boscho
Q: Ng mga
nagbabasa ng tabloid?
A: Motoymola
Q: Bakit
mas malakas umutot ang boys kaysa sa girls?
A: Dahil may malapit na microphone!
Psicom Publishing Inc.
All Rights Reserved