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December 1

Jude: Sir, pwede ko po bang pakasalan ang anak niyo? 
Sir: Hindi pwede!
Jude: Marami po akong pera at kaya ko naman po siyang buhayin.
Sir: Basta, Hindi Pwede!
Jude: Binata po naman ako.
Sir: Yun nga eh, binata din ang anak ko.


NewsFlash: Tuwang-tuwa si Senator Osmena. For the first time nakapagsuot
din siya ng gown sa senado nung nag take sila ng oath.


Cardinal Sin teaching grade 4 students.
Sin: Gloria, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Gloria: I want to be a prostitute.
Sin: What!??! I said, what do you want when you grow up?
Gloria: I said I want to be a prostitute!
Sin: Good! kala ko gusto mong maging Protestant.


Erap: Laarni, dito ka, 99 naman tayo.
Laarni: Labs baka 69 ang ibig mong sabihin
Erap: Hinde, 99 talaga, nain mo ko tapos nain kita.



Erap in the streets of New York.
Prosti: Hey handsome, whaddya say to a little fuck?
Erap: Hello there little fuck.


Marriage is a gamble. 
You start with a pair. 
He shows a diamond. 
She shows a heart. 
Her father has a club. 
His father has a spade. 
There's usually a joker around somewhere, 
After a while he becomes a king and she becomes a queen. 
Then they end up with a full house. 

December 4

SOME AMA JOKES FROM TEXTBOMB 3 
Favorite Coffee 
Ateneo - Starbucks 
DLSU - Figaro 
UST - Nescafe 
AMA - Kopiko at isang basong tubig 
Mahirap 
Ateneo - Mahirap English 
UP - Mahirap Math 
DLSU - Mahirap parking 
San Beda - Mahirap maging lalake 
AMA - Mahirap maghanap ng ticket sa concert ni Jolina. 
Nawala ang cell phone 
DLSU - siyet yung 8210 ko. 
Ateneo - f*ck, i lost my 7110 
UST - tangna nawala yung 3210 ko 
AMA - punyemas, yung brick game ko! 
Books Ateneo - Management Made Easy 
UP - Advance Math Studies 
UST - Medical books 
Miriam - Foreign Studies 
AMA - 101 Ways to win at Pera o Bayong 
Hangout after school 
Ateneo/Miriam - Katipunan Area 
DLSU - Taft Ave. 
UP - Sunken Garden 
UST - Quiapo ilalim area 
AMA - ABS-CBN Compound abang jolina
Cell Phone conversation 
DLSU - Sige na pre, weíre almost an hour here on the cell.
 Ateneo - Iíll hear from you again. thanks for calling. 
UP - Call me up again ha? 
AMA - Tangna, sabi ng huwag kang tatawag eh, mag text ka na lang para libre. 
On a fancy Italian restaurant 
Ateneo - the best Italian restaurant 
DLSU - carbonara is the best! 
UP - I love fetuccini! 
AMA - (pabulong) pano ba i-pronounce ang fetuccini? 
Milk used when they were still babies 
UP - Promil 
Ateneo - Gain 
DLSU - Anchor 
UST - MilkMaid 
Miriam - Darigold 
AMA - Lactacyd 
Vitamins 
Ateneo - Korgivit 
DLSU - Enervon 
UP - Revicon 
UST - Potency 
AMA - United American Tiki Tiki 
Nabangga ang car 
Ateneo - Aw shit, my father will kill me for this. 
DLSU - Ok lang naka insure naman yan eh 
UP - F*ck! arenít you watching where youíre going? 
AMA - Tangna, hindi na nga umaandar ang kotse ko, binangga nyo pa.

 

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