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November 16

SWS Survey at 1000 female employees.
Would you like to have sex with President Erap?
1% said, YES
2% said, NO
97% said, Never Again.


DONG PUNO: Mr. President, ano po ba ang gagawin natin sa proposed Abortion
Bill?
ERAP: nak ng jueteng, pati ba naman yan po-problemahin ko pa? isabay mo na
sa electric bill natin, Bayaran mo na lang.


During the APEC meeting.
CLINTON: Mr. President, have you met the King and Queen of Thailand?
ERAP: I don’t think so. I only know the King and Queen of Hearts, Spade,
Diamond and Flowers.


ERAP: Why are you 2 hours late for our meeting mr. senator? Hindi mo ba
alam na very punctual ako?
SENATOR: Sorry po mr. president, nadulas kasi ako sa banyo namin.
ERAP: Niloloko ma ata ako eh, dalawang oras kang nadudulas nang nadudulas
sa banyo n’yo? Dapat pinunasan mo na ang flooring niyo.


ERAP Lasing sa Malacanang.
ERAP: (Sigaw) Sino ang kumuha ng susi ng kotse ko???
Tahimik.
ERAP: Isang beses ko na lang ito itatanong, sino ang kumuha ng susi ng
kotse ko? Huwag na huwag n`yong ipagagawa sa akin ang ginawa ko noong
huling may kumuha ng susi ng kotse ko!!!
DONG PUNO: (Ninenerbiyos) si-sir??, a-ano po ba a-ang ginawa n`yo noong
huling may kumuha ng susi ng kotse n`yo?
ERAP: Ano pa? di naglakad akong pauwi!

 
November 17

Ang mga belen na ibinebenta ngayon, Jesus and Mary na lang daw ang laman.
Kasi si Joseph ‘di na aabot ng Pasko.
Santa Claus Is Coming To Town: 
He sees when you are gambling, he knows when you are drunk, he knows if
you’re in bed with girls, so RESIGN for progress’ sake! 


HOT NEWS!!! Erap's women have banded together to support him in these
troubled times, and have called themselves the Pambansang Ugnayan ng Kabit
ni Erap. In short, P.U.K...


Americans are complaining ,they still have no president................
Filipinos are complaining ,THEY STILL HAVE A PRESIDENT................ 


Why did Erap said that our nation is a Banana Republic?
Because it has a SAGING economy....and a MONKEY for a president! 


What are the similarities of Erap and Bro.Mike Velarde
-Both love the poor.
-Both collects money from the poor.
-Both are now billionaires, courtesy of the poor. 


Teacher : Kids, anong gusto ninyong maging paglaki n’yo?
Boy 1: Gusto ko maging doktor.
Boy 2: Ako, gusto kong maging kabit para magkaron ako ng bahay sa
Wack-wack na P150 million.


Teacher at International School: OK kids, what was the scariest sound you
heard this halloween?
AMERICAN KID: BOOOOO!!!! HOOOOWWWAAAAAAAAA!!!!
GERMAN KID: ARRRAAAAFFFRAAAGGGHHH!!!!!
JAPANESE KID: HIIIII-HIIIIII-HIIIII!! NGAAAYYYAAHII!!!
PINOY KID: AAAAAAYYYYYY, AAAAAAAYYYYY, AAYYYYYYYYYY... I WILL NOT RESIGN! 


News flash! The Surgeon General has declared that Erap can never suffer
from hemorrhoids. Yes, never. Because he’s the perfect asshole.

 
November 20

Noli Boy: Mr. President, kaliwa't kanan ang mga allegations sa inyo. Ano
po ba ang gagawin ninyo?

ERAP: Oo nga eh, dapat mahinto na iyan. Ipapahanap ko na ang mga
alligators na yan! 


Noli Boy: Mr. President, tutoo po bang walang kama- kamag anak sa inyo?
kahit po sino basta may kasalanan ay ipapakulong ninyo?

Erap: Tutoo yan! kahit sino basta nagkasala ay ipakukulong ko.
Noli Boy: Kahit si Jinggoy?
Erap: Kahit si Jinggoy!
Noli Boy: Kahit si Jude?
Erap: Kahit si Jude!
Noli Boy: Kahit si Loi?
Erap: Kahit si Loi!
Noli Boy: Kahit si Laarni?
Erap: Kahit si Loi!


News Analysis: The 666 symbolizes the mark of the beast in the Bible. Now
it is applied to Erap! Because Erap has many sex-sex-sex!


Hinangaan kita, pinagkatiwalaan, akala ko totoong malinis ka. Nagkamali
ako…
Totoo sigurong may brain damage ka.

Ipasa to hanggang makarating kay Miriam.


Phil Air Force 1 pilot before landing:
Mr.President, we have begun our descent to NAIA . Please zip your zipper
and return the stewardess to her upright position.


What is ERAP in Japanese? Furo Yari
Arabian? Ali Bobo
Chinese? Howeh Teng
African? Akimpa Yola
German ? Ousten Huten
Vietnamese? Poh Nye Tah
India ? Lagilah Singh
Dutch? Elise Jan!

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