A few days before Christmas, the Monsignor thought it would be a good idea if he solicited the support of a number of the Catholic Schools to get together to create a Nativity Scene in time for the Christmas Mass.
The day before Christmas, the Monsignor discovered that the Nativity Scene was still incomplete so he made a few inquiries on why this was so.
Ateneo reported it could come up with only two and not three wise men. La Salle reported it couldn't come up with even a single wise man. Maryknoll reported that it couldn't come up with even a single virgin.
Tama nga naman
The pinoy interpreter was trying his best to translate what the Filipino witness is saying in a court case:
Witness: "Pagkatapos ng kung ano-ano ay nagdatingan ang kung sino-sino!"
Pinoy Interpreter: "After the what-what came the who-who!"
sumabog. Sumambulat. At eto ... Sangkaterbang sperm cells ang nakawala.
the beeper operator.
A teacher went up to Erap because he wanted to test Erap's IQ.
Teacher: Erap, can you spell defense?
Erap: Aba naman, oo!!! D-E-F-E-N-S-E!!!
T: Aba, tama ho! E, defeat?
E: Aba naman... kadali-dali! D-E-F-E-A-T!!!
T: Naku, President Erap! Ang galing niyo naman! E, how about detail?
T: Naku, President Erap! Ang dami-daming nagkamali tungkol sa inyo ha! Eh ang tali-talino niyo pala! O, ito, last question ko sayo. Gamitin mo and defense, defeat and detail in a sentence.
E: The cow just over DEFENSE, first DEFEAT then DETAIL.
With an R, with an R, with an R
ng klase. siyempre, magpapakilala muna si titser.mukhang strikto, terror
ala Miss Tapia. Sinulat niya ang pangalan niya sa blackboard.'Miss Pruke.'
pigil ang hagikgik ng mga estudyante.baka mapagalitan sila.
Differences between Mayaman at Mahirap sa Pilipinas
ka, meron kang "allergy"; kung mahirap ka, ang tawag dyan
"sira ang ulo"; sa mayaman, "nervous breakdown" dahil
"malikot ang kamay" ang tawag ay "kleptomaniac"; sa
ka, you're "eccentric"; kung mahirap ka, "may toyo ka sa
ka at sumakit ang ulo mo, ikaw ay "nalipasan ng gutom";
ka, ikaw ay "kuba", pero kung mayaman ka, you are
kang domestic na maitim, ikaw ay "ita" o "negrita"
high society ka, you are approvingly called "slender" or
high society ka pa rin at ikaw ay maliit, ang tawag sa iyo
ka at date ka rito, date ka doon, ang tawag sa iyo ay
ka kung isa kang dukhang alembong; pero kung mayaman kayo,
Ang mahirap na tumatanda ay "gumugurang"; sa mayamang tumatanda, the description is "he or she graduates gracefully into senior citizenhood".
Ang anak ng mayaman ay "slow learner'; ang equivalent na anak ng mahirap ay "bobo" o "gung-gong".
ka at marami kang kumain, you flatter your host who says
DOCTOR: I need your semen, urine and stool samples
ERAP: I am a bit in a hurry. Can I just leave my underwear?
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