Outside of the Manila Hotel (new name?), a Japanese tourist gets in a cab and tells the driver to drive him to the airport.
On their way, a car zoomed by and the Japanese goes "Aaah Toyota, made in Japan...very faaast!"
And then another car zooms by and the Japanese goes "Aaah Nissan, made in Japan...very faaast!"
And then another, "Aaah Mitsubishi, made in Japan... very faaast!"
By this time the Pinoy cabbies getting tired of his passengers nationalistic pride. Upon arriving at the airport the cabbie tells his passenger "400 pesos please."
The Japanese goes "400 pesos? Its not that far from the hotel!"
The cabbies reply: "Aaah, taxi meter, made in Japan....very faaast!"
Some practical Chinese phrases:
Ai Bang Mai
Nee- I bumped into the coffee table
ERAP's Medical Terms
Listed below are the results of his entrance test dug up from some ancient archives. Needless to say, he didnt make it.
- against everyone
Misis: Dir, bakit may black eyes ka?
Mister: Paakyat kasi ako sa eskaleytor sa megamol. Napansin ko na naipit yung mini-skirt ng babaing nasa unahan ko sa pagitan ng kaniyang puwit. Ini-stretch ko. Tapos, hinarap niya ako at sinuntok ako sa kaliwang mata.
ko yon. Pero paano mo nakuha yung black-eye mo sa kanang mata?
Loi were out on an African safari when suddenly a lion sprang out of nowhere
and dragged Loi with its jaws.
going to Malacanang when the security guard stopped him.
Daddy anong spelling ng saksesful? single ba o double "s"?
Gloria were at a meeting when they got hungry.
There was a mirror that eats liars.
pangit: I think Im CUTE! - kinain siya.
Taba: I think Im SEXY! - kinain siya.
Erap: I think.. - kinain na.
ACCOUNTING TERMS - PINOY STYLE
M or F
Applying for a job for the first time, isang seksing coed was filling up the application form . Mabilis siyang natapos but mukhang nahirapan siyang sagutin ang isang tanong:
PERSONNEL: Do you need help in filling up the application, Miss?
MISS: Puede ho bang "occasionally" ang ilagay na sagot.
PERSONNEL: Which question, Miss?
Don't Miss Church
A Filipino pastor from the barrio decided to skip services one Sunday and head to the bundok to do some bear hunting. As he rounded the corner on a perilous twist in the trail, he and a bear collided, sending him and his rifle tumbling down the mountainside. Before he knew it, his rifle went one way and he went the other, landing on a rock and breaking both legs. That was the good news. The bad news was the ferocious bear was charging at him from a distance and he couldnt move. "Oh, Lord," the Filipino preacher prayed, "Im so sorry for skipping services today to come out here and hunt. Please forgive me and grant me just one last prayer request: Please make a Christian out of the bear thats coming at me. Please, Lord!" At that very instant the bear skidded to a halt, fell to its knees, clasped its paws together and began to pray aloud right at the preachers feet: "Dear God, bless this food I am about to receive..."
- Remington Steel
Psicom Publishing Inc.
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