KRIS A.'s Prayer
ERAP's New Lingo
- pantusok ng yelo
General Tinio St.
There is a popular college whose address is in Heneral Tinio in the corner of South Super Highway about a stones throw away from Don Bosco and ten minutes from the now Ayala Complex. ( Does anybody know what college I was talking about ?) Anyway this baranggay in Makati has most of the streets named after famous generals in History like Hen. Aguinaldo , Hen. Del Pilar, Heneral Tinio, Heneral Malvar, Heneral Evangelista...
A beautiful and finesse instructress rode a jeepney in Edsa(Pasay)which has the route Evangelista/Buendia to get to work in the college... With her, on the jeepney were a few passengers, old ladies,men and many college students who were rushing late to attend their classes...
After a while the first passenger called the drivers attention:
Passenger 1 : Mama kanto ng Aguinaldo ho ako !!!!
So the driver pulled over on the corner of Heneral Aguinaldo street to let the passenger off then resumed driving ... After a while another passenger tapped the ceiling of the jeepney
Passenger 2 : Mama kanto Del Pilar ho ako !
The driver once again pulled over on the side of del Pilar street to let the second passenger off... then resumed his driving ..After a while another passenger called his attention again
Passenger 3: Sa Kanto ng Malvar lang pare !!!
So like the rest ,he pulled the jeepney on the corner side of Heneral Malvar street to let the passenger off ...After a while, the instructress was prepared to get off and waited for any of the students to call the drivers attention and make him stop ... However none of the students made any attempt since they were also waiting for her to call the drivers attention ...They were almost going to pass the corner of Heneral Tinio so she decided to shout loud ...
Instructress : Mama, mama !!!
Driver : Ano yon !
Instructress : Kanto Tinio ho ako !!! Kanto Tinio ho ako !!
(trying very hard to maintain her poise !)......
After a pause the driver responded ....
Driver : Miss, hindi pwede ! ... Maraming nakakakita at may asawa na ho ako !
Then stopped the jeepney ..the pasengers looked at one another while she got off ... She was still walking toward the college but cant figure out why the driver responded in that weird way ! She then glanced back and saw all the students walking behind her snickering and laughing their heads off!!
That was the time she realized the horror of what she just said and to think she said it with such urgency !!!!
Here are some love acronyms that u might find amusing.
- Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies.
to a patient.
Ito na lang
ang bilhin mo signatures na signatures ang dating.
3 bears were
driving on the road. They accidently drove off a cliff and into the water.
saw the accident?
came out of the car safely?
fixed the car?
ang mga biik ??
malalaman kung ang karneng bibilhin mo eh babae o lalake ??
malalaman kung ang tao sa loob ng banyo ay babae o lalake ??
ang hindi pwedeng akyatin ??
Ano ang pwede
mong gawin sa GABI na hindi mo pwedeng gawin sa UMAGA ??
Ano ang nagagawa
ng LIMANG lalake na hindi kayang gawin ng LIMANG babae ??
Q: WHAT DOES
AN AMERICAN SAY WHEN HE FARTS ?
A Manila Jeepney driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence to St. Peter, who looks him up in his Big Book. Upon reading the entry for the driver, Peter invites him to grab a silk robe and a golden staff and to proceed into Heaven.
A preacher is next in line behind the Jeepney driver and has been watching these proceedings with interest. He announces himself to St. Peter. Upon scanning the preachers entry in the Big Book, St. Peter furrows his brow and says, "Okay, well let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff."
The preacher is astonished and replies, "But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely I rate higher than a Manila Jeepney driver."
St. Peter responded matter-of-factly: "Here we are interested in results. When you preached, people slept. When the Manila Jeepney driver drove his Jeep, people prayed."
Ip you like to mik pilipino ispagiti, you jus dipros dee grounbip,a. Andin you pollow dee diriksyon in dee kwan. Dee kwan, you know wat Im reperring too. Dee diriksyon on dee ispagiti plastik and deesauce mix.
Instid ob eating wid dee pork, you eat wid your han. Ay, dat is how we eat in da pilipeens. Ip der is lipober, you put it in di prigideer. Andin tomoro, you eat it por brikpas. Ip der is still samor, you jus baon it por work. You can also eat di ispagiti wid rice. Dat is Filifino ispagiti. Andin ip der is still somor, ay do not tro dat away. You jus gib it to dee dogs or cats outside, a. Dat is becos ispagiti is por long lipe. I dont like to see it weested.
So, mga kababayans, you itry dis risipi.
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